fruit snack literature

i just got back from Albertson's, and was digging into my first of four boxes of fruit snacks when....

"Albertson's DINOSAURS fruit snacks
Are you brave enough to dig into this box of Alberson's Dinosaurs? A world of prehistoric fruitiness lurks within. The mighty Triceratops, the terrible Tyrannosaurus, the armored Stegosaurus and the gigantic Apatosaurus await the gruesome challenge: Will you eat them, or will they eat you?"

no, i definitely just ate them. unless the really vicious ones are waiting in the corner pack.

oh! heavens, i nearly forgot the other package.

"Albertson's Creepies fruit snacks
Do you have the guts to put your hand into this box of creepy crawly rodents, reptiles, snakes & spiders? Your reward will be a world of slithering fruitiness. The razor-fanged rat, poison-spitting cobra, and the man-eating iguana await the gruesome challenge: Will you eat them, or will they eat you?"

i'm so glad nobody read me the side of these packages..... i'm not sure if i would've been scared shitless that the food would actually eat me, or if i would've laughed maniacally and eaten the entire box.

Albertson's. they're crazy.

At least the Snoopy and Curious George boxes don't have scary words. If they'd ruined Curious George for me, that would've equalled some serious therapy time.

currently:
about to eat some dangerous fruitsnacks then nap